Managers: Can Being Self-Focused Actually Be a Good Thing?
One problem I commonly see, particularly in new managers, is thinking they are doing their employees a favor by being a “good guy (or gal).” For example, let’s take Cam, who’s a fairly new manager. He’s having a hard time telling an employee to stop using the company’s computer resources excessively for personal reasons.
There are lots of explanations. In working with hundreds of managers, what I’ve often seen for a new manager like Cam is that he avoids the discussion because he doesn’t want to be seen as one of them. “One of whom” you ask? – a manager, a boss, a company man, somehow separate or different than a regular employee. And managers like Cam mostly don’t want to view themselves that way.
When you fall into this as a manager, you are actually avoiding taking on an important aspect of your leadership role － giving your employee the important feedback that could improve his performance and possibly prevent him from being fired.
Another Way
In coaching Cam, we’d look first at what is motivating him. We’d start with his natural inclination, that action that occurred to him first, no matter whether it seemed reasonable or actionable. In his case, Cam is being motivated by wanting to be “the good guy” and to be liked by his employees.
In my experience I’ve seen that managers have one area they tend to focus on first when responding to an employee issue: employees, self or the organization. None of these areas is superior to another as a place to start. And each area has its benefits, and its risks if you overdo it. (Want to find out about the place you naturally start? Take my free People Management Personality ™ assessment here.)
Cam’s natural inclination was to be self-focused. And though at first blush that may seem selfish, his natural inclinations is something we can draw on to help solve the problem. If Cam could bring himself to see that he would truly be “the good guy” when he communicates directly and decisively with his employee about behavior that could get him fired, all stakeholders would win.
And that’s my goal for you, to work with what comes naturally to you, while simultaneously creating the best possible outcome for you, your employees AND the organization. Everyone wins.
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